IDF Script

Let me preface this by saying I have no idea how to write or format a film script. However, like the heroes of our story, I don't intend to let that stop me.

Concept

The film is to be frames as a sort of documentary, with occasional subtext and voice overs to provide additional information. Our characters themselves are very "genre savy", in that they are well aware that their lives are a pulp sci-fi adventure. IDF World provides more background on the universe they live in. Obviously the movie will never take itself very seriously, we are striving to have fun creating awesome visual effects and whatnot.

Opening

The movie opens with a nearly black screen with maybe one or two dots, and the subtitle "Space". It then says "You know what? Actual pictures of space are really boring." The screen then changes to a fantastic CGI starscape with subtitle "Space (Artists Depiction)". Going forward, most things in film will have "Artists Depiction" added on to the end.

Cut to our intreped heroes in space suits on the surface of a moon somewhere, doing something. We will work out details on this, but whatever it is it's very dangerous.

They can't see much, its dark and the atmosphere around them is toxic. We might use wind-driven rain or smoke, not a lot should be visible. The characters have a brief conversation in which they mention that the space suits, with lights illuminating their faces, are nearly impossible to see in. Terrence further comments that Ivan's sunglasses probably aren't helping any.

Still, the coldy and calmly deal with their mission, which needs to be something absurdly dangerous that they narrowly survive. Somewhere during this whole sequence we'll have them using the transporter, which their ship has.

Maybe we can have them restarting a fusion engine or some bullshit?

First Act

Opening Scene/Scenes

After narrowly surviving whatever was in the opening, our heroes return to the spaceship, which will have a cool name. Ivan attempts to order the ship's AI to break orbit and put them on a heading to the nearest jump gate, but the AI, being barely more sophisticated than Siri, is not capable of doing as he asks. Terrence then explains that you "have to know how to work it" or something to that effect, and orders the AI to play music, which it does successfully(that's basically the one thing the AI can do right).

They are interrupted by the communications system and have a short exchange with a weird alien who offers them a job, which Terrance flatly turns down. The job involves theft, which our heroes won't do, and alien mcrubberhead indicates that "no one else will hire them". After terminating the link, the two settle in for dinner.

Terrence makes a statement about how they wouldn't have to "put up with" this nonsense if people still respected him. (Subtext will clarify that the "nonsense" in question is low-paying but extremely dangerous missions, and eating dog food). Ivan replies that he's over-reacting, and Terrence goes on a short rant about how some alien impersonated him and made a fool out of him, while burning their bridges with all their most important contacts.

Ivan makes a big show of getting some food "From the replicator" and the camera shows him pulling two cans out of a very ordinary looking cupboard. The shot will be arranged such that he opens the door towards the camera so the viewer can't see inside. He takes out two cans with no labels, and the dialogue implies that this is normal for their "replicator" after opening the cans and dumping them into bowls, one is baked beans and the other is clearly dog food. Terrence indicates he's not hungry.

Later that evening we get a few establishing shots around the ship. There's a cockpit area and some living space. Not much, our heroes sleep in bunk beds, and the center of the room they live in contains the transporter platform. The whole space is cramped, with exposed conduits and tubing everywhere, and decorated the way you'd expect two broke bachelors to do up a room. We need at least one poster of a green-skinned alien.

With Ivan asleep, Terrence returns to the communications system and raised the alien from before. They have a conversation in which said alien intones that he can "make everything right" for our heroes(particularly Terrence) and that he'll do it if they can retrieve an item called The Heart of Light from one of his rivals. Terrence ends the conversation by fiercely informing the guy that he'll "think about it".

Next Scenes

The following day our heroes set off for the jump gate. The computer is now help but we get some exciting scenes as they pilot the ship. Ivan flies and Terrence navigates. Lets say they're orbiting a moon around a gas giant, and they have to fly through a dense asteroid field and navigate a gaseous stream to get to the gate.

Actually, they totally don't "Have" to fly through said field, but the jump window is opening soon and if they want to get there in time they have to take the risk. Had they had working auto-navigation, the ship could have flown the long and safe way while they slept. But, Ivan is unconcerned, as "this is more fun".

Some cool space scenes, they avoid the asteroids, fly in close to some, and get into a gaseous stream which will not be explained, but involves some cool stuff. Ivan stalls the engines(he's been trained on 2-engine craft and this is a frequent occurrence on their four-engine vehicle).

They arrive eventually at the jump gate, which will look really cool and is crowded with alien ships. If I can get away with it I want to sneak the Enterprise somewhere into the background. Before they can fly in for the jump, they have to wait in line and go through a toll booth, which will be the same in space as it is on earth. This wait is implied to last several hours.

Its as they approach the jump that Ivan goes to give a destination, and Terrence interrupts to provide a different one. Ivan is shocked, but Terrence overrides him and they go to the destination specified. During this scene Terrence explains briefly that they are "taking the job"

STOPPED HERE Rest is original brain dump.

Next Act

The planet(which for now we will call "planet salvador" because shut up) is controlled by a dictator/warlord who has a mine there(because cave sets are cheap). Ivan initially describes the residents as "primitive", but Terrence corrects him explaining that they had a rich, vibrant culture which has been disrupted by Evil Warlord's mining activities, and that there was nothing wrong with the way the natives lived, but he does concede that "we don't know very much about them".

Our heroes then hatch a plan. Just getting to the solar system will be a challenge, I'll do some world-building on this universe later but rest asured there will be a lot of farting around in space. Eventually they reach the planet and have to go to the surface in an escape pod. It's been established earlier that their ship has transporters(like in "Star Trek"), but we'll make up some reason why they can't beam down. The ship is then set on an auto-recall, giving our heroes X days to retrieve the object and make it to the beam-out coordinates(X days because we have to figure out exactly how many).

Upon landing on planet salvador(its a water landing and they have to awkwardly swim ashore), our heroes plant the beam out beacon and trek towards evildudes stronghold. On the way there they meet a tribe of natives who haven't been enslaved and have a party with them. Terrence can sort of speak their language, but Ivan is limited to hand signals. It should be made clear that the natives think he's some kind of moron(Language idea: what if the natives just say ridiculous things in spanish very quickly? Not related to the plot, they just say things, like maybe they could rant about shit? I dunno). During the evening, Terrence is lured off by a hot alien babe, who takes him to a pond and takes off her clothes. Terrence goes in after her, but before he can get anything going, she summons a monster, which Ivan then conveniently kills. He then reads from the space wikipedia's web page for the planet, explaining that this is a known custom among the natives.

The next day is made up by something of a travel montage. I like El Salvador for filming because of the country's breathtaking beauty. We'll want to find shots that don't have a lot of manmade crap in the background, but that won't be too hard. As they travel further they get in to more manmade structures, maybe we can actually find a mine to film at? Locations are going to be interesting. We also need some abandoned/wrecked shit to film in.

Our heroes get to the mine, infiltrate the death fortress, and steal the thing. Obviously we've got a large amount of detail to fill in. They escape, and are helped by the tribe they met earlier. Terrence meets with the girl who tried to feed him to the monster, who explains that it's all a weird misunderstanding and she legitimately thought he wanted to be eaten. She makes it clear she has no interest in him and even laughs at the idea. Though not explicitly stated, Terrence interprets this to be related to his recent disgrace, lamenting that even girls in primitive tribes know about it.

They get to the beam-out site on time and make it back to their ship. More bullshitting around in space ensues, and they escape and reach the planet where their contact is waiting to receive the thing. The planet could be a heavily atmosphere moon like Titan. One idea is we could use the HardWar video game to do some of the exterior shots(again, "artists depiction"). They meet with the contact and hand the thing over, and then Terrence asks for the information to clear his name. The guy laughs in his face, pointing out that, at most, six people were fooled and no one actually cares, Ivan and Terrance are so "small-time" that they don't have a reputation to speak of.

Dejected, our heroes return to the ship and Ivan sets a new course. Terrence asks why they're going there, and Ivan replies, quite simply "because we've never been there before" and the movie ends.

Extra Plot Ideas

The item they have to steel is supposedly a sacred relic to the natives. They offer to give it back, only to have the natives explain that its "just some glowing piece of shit we found in a cave" and that they pretend it and things like it are sacred so the evil guy will steal those instead of taking their actual cultural treasures.