IDF Script

Let me preface this by saying I have no idea how to write or format a film script. However, like the heroes of our story, I don't intend to let that stop me.

Concept

The film is to be frames as a sort of documentary, with occasional subtext and voice overs to provide additional information. Our characters themselves are very "genre savy", in that they are well aware that their lives are a pulp sci-fi adventure. IDF World provides more background on the universe they live in. Obviously the movie will never take itself very seriously, we are striving to have fun creating awesome visual effects and whatnot.

Opening

The movie opens with a nearly black screen with maybe one or two dots, and the subtitle "Space". It then says "You know what? Actual pictures of space are really boring." The screen then changes to a fantastic CGI starscape with subtitle "Space (Artists Depiction)". Going forward, most things in film will have "Artists Depiction" added on to the end.

Cut to our intreped heroes in space suits on the surface of a moon somewhere, doing something. We will work out details on this, but whatever it is it's very dangerous.

They can't see much, its dark and the atmosphere around them is toxic. We might use wind-driven rain or smoke, not a lot should be visible. The characters have a brief conversation in which they mention that the space suits, with lights illuminating their faces, are nearly impossible to see in. Terrence further comments that Ivan's sunglasses probably aren't helping any.

Still, the coldy and calmly deal with their mission, which needs to be something absurdly dangerous that they narrowly survive. Somewhere during this whole sequence we'll have them using the transporter, which their ship has.

Maybe we can have them restarting a fusion engine or some bullshit?

First Act

After narrowly surviving whatever was in the opening

Moving forward, back on the ships our heroes expose some backstory. Apparently in events prior to this movie, someone was impersonating Terrence and has ruined his reputation around the galaxy. He's not wanted for anything and he's not in trouble, people just think he's an asshole now, and he's hurt by this. They are contacted by one of their associates, who explains that he has evidence which can clear Terrence and restore his good name, but that he won't give it to them unless they retrieve "an item" for him.

The planet(which for now we will call "planet salvador" because shut up) is controlled by a dictator/warlord who has a mine there(because cave sets are cheap). Ivan initially describes the residents as "primitive", but Terrence corrects him explaining that they had a rich, vibrant culture which has been disrupted by Evil Warlord's mining activities, and that there was nothing wrong with the way the natives lived, but he does concede that "we don't know very much about them".

Our heroes then hatch a plan. Just getting to the solar system will be a challenge, I'll do some world-building on this universe later but rest asured there will be a lot of farting around in space. Eventually they reach the planet and have to go to the surface in an escape pod. It's been established earlier that their ship has transporters(like in "Star Trek"), but we'll make up some reason why they can't beam down. The ship is then set on an auto-recall, giving our heroes X days to retrieve the object and make it to the beam-out coordinates(X days because we have to figure out exactly how many).

Upon landing on planet salvador(its a water landing and they have to awkwardly swim ashore), our heroes plant the beam out beacon and trek towards evildudes stronghold. On the way there they meet a tribe of natives who haven't been enslaved and have a party with them. Terrence can sort of speak their language, but Ivan is limited to hand signals. It should be made clear that the natives think he's some kind of moron(Language idea: what if the natives just say ridiculous things in spanish very quickly? Not related to the plot, they just say things, like maybe they could rant about shit? I dunno). During the evening, Terrence is lured off by a hot alien babe, who takes him to a pond and takes off her clothes. Terrence goes in after her, but before he can get anything going, she summons a monster, which Ivan then conveniently kills. He then reads from the space wikipedia's web page for the planet, explaining that this is a known custom among the natives.

The next day is made up by something of a travel montage. I like El Salvador for filming because of the country's breathtaking beauty. We'll want to find shots that don't have a lot of manmade crap in the background, but that won't be too hard. As they travel further they get in to more manmade structures, maybe we can actually find a mine to film at? Locations are going to be interesting. We also need some abandoned/wrecked shit to film in.

Our heroes get to the mine, infiltrate the death fortress, and steal the thing. Obviously we've got a large amount of detail to fill in. They escape, and are helped by the tribe they met earlier. Terrence meets with the girl who tried to feed him to the monster, who explains that it's all a weird misunderstanding and she legitimately thought he wanted to be eaten. She makes it clear she has no interest in him and even laughs at the idea. Though not explicitly stated, Terrence interprets this to be related to his recent disgrace, lamenting that even girls in primitive tribes know about it.

They get to the beam-out site on time and make it back to their ship. More bullshitting around in space ensues, and they escape and reach the planet where their contact is waiting to receive the thing. The planet could be a heavily atmosphere moon like Titan. One idea is we could use the HardWar video game to do some of the exterior shots(again, "artists depiction"). They meet with the contact and hand the thing over, and then Terrence asks for the information to clear his name. The guy laughs in his face, pointing out that, at most, six people were fooled and no one actually cares, Ivan and Terrance are so "small-time" that they don't have a reputation to speak of.

Dejected, our heroes return to the ship and Ivan sets a new course. Terrence asks why they're going there, and Ivan replies, quite simply "because we've never been there before" and the movie ends.

Extra Plot Ideas

The item they have to steel is supposedly a sacred relic to the natives. They offer to give it back, only to have the natives explain that its "just some glowing piece of shit we found in a cave" and that they pretend it and things like it are sacred so the evil guy will steal those instead of taking their actual cultural treasures.